tesslynch:

Got something you’d like to say anonymously?: Dear tesslynch,

What’s it like to live to write and act and not work at a desk from 9 in the AM to 6 in the PM? Is it a lifestyle you would recommend?

Best,
Guy who’s so down with living to write and writing to live

Dear Guy,

It would be unfair for me to answer this question without first acknowledging that, first of all, I have no idea how to advise you but I’m still going to try. Second of all my family and friends are really, really supportive of me. If your family is not really supportive of you, you’re going to be in for some trouble here. There is no way to guarantee that you won’t have to call your parents at least once or twice and cry and say you can’t make your rent. In fact, for three years or so, I was doing this; it’s humiliating and you see a lot of people give up because it really, really sucks to have to be like, “Look, I sit around all day hoping the phone will ring and then it doesn’t. I applied to Urban Outfitters and Banana Republic and Applebee’s but they haven’t gotten back to me yet and it’s like December 23rd and my rent is due on the first and nobody gets Christmas presents from me this year, and I was wondering if my present could be (cry) some money for (cry) my next pap smear.” It sucks a lot. It sucks out loud. Then there will be friends of yours who will claim you’re antisocial because you can’t go out to dinner because you’re broke. If you’re lucky, your friends will understand once you tell them that you’re broke. If you’re not, your friends will express their lack of surprise because, to them, you’re sitting around all day in your pajamas sipping Mai Tais.

That being said, depending on how much you hate your desk job, how willing you are to be humiliated, and how willing you are to have no idea when and if you will ever get paid for your efforts, the returns can be (obviously) the kind of thing that makes you the sort of person who happily forgets how to fax during a night of celebratory champagne. It’s a big gamble. By the way, I have not gambled and won. Right now I have gambled and kept afloat. Next year, I don’t know. In four years, I might still be in the same position — a worse position? — than I am now, and if so, I may regret leaving my job. I have no scope on this yet. All this is just ramblies.

I worked a 6-week independent contracting job from 7:30 AM to 6 PM at a desk. It meant that that was all I was mentally capable of doing. There was no way to make any progress in any other career while I was there, and as I sat in a chair day after day receiving IMs from my boss, who worked in an office six feet away from me but didn’t like to speak with me in person, I thought “I would rather do anything other than this.” If you feel that way, then let me be the person who encourages you to stop doing what you’re doing and try something else. There are people who wouldn’t mind doing what you do. They don’t want to be an actor or a musician or a writer, they just want to support their families and fax. They want the security of having a job that happens every day and earns them money every day. I respect this, because we all want that, but not necessarily in that arena. It’s very liberating to find yourself, say, promotable. Or successful. Actors and writers, I think, don’t ever have that kind of security. Everything you do stands on its own, and every time you’re up for a job you feel like you’re back at square one.

Anyway, though, I think I made $500 from that job. I made $10/hr at Urban Outfitters, so each week after taxes I brought home about $200. Say you book a national network commercial: one day of work will get you anywhere from $3,000 to $30,000. However, say you start out trying to book a commercial and it takes two years before you do (cough). You’ll book little things ($500 for an industrial, $1500 for print, $308 for a day of extra work), but you won’t make enough to pay to keep yourself alive because these jobs happen infrequently. That’s when your life starts to get complicated, because you will have to take a part-time job that will almost definitely get you fired when you have to miss a day or two of work for a paid acting job, or you’re just under deadline for a book contribution or a freelance job and you have to make that your priority (because it is). In LA, and I’m sure New York is similar, part-time job hirers can smell when your interest lies somewhere else. Never tell them that you’re pursuing acting or writing or whatever. Perhaps that will come back to bite me later, but I like for people to try to do this, so I’m offering myself up as a part-time-job pariah for your sake. 

Picture a normal day in your life as an actor or a writer: you wake up hoping that the phone will ring, and you will stare at it a lot throughout the day. You try to generate a lot of your own projects: you have to be able to tell yourself that you’re working and making progress. Some days will be as exhausting as a regular work day — you’ll have to be in four different places, you’re actually working — and these are the days that you hope for. And some days will be so dismal. Some days, nobody will call and someone will tell you that you’re not what they’re looking for, and then some asshole will say you’re too charactery even though you wore heels and they’ll send you home without hearing you read. Picture this day. Is this a day you could survive and still think, “That person is wrong, and I am right, and I’m going to be okay?”

Also, again, I’m really not an expert on this, or anything, so ignore me if you’re smarter than I am or better at what you do. The truth is, I’ll probably be serving you an Ultimate Margarita in July, and I really hope that you tip me well. That’s why I answered your question.